A trip with stumbling blocks

Well Dennis wouldn't be Dennis if everything went off without a hitch. Joyce and Chris accompanied him to see him off on tuesday, but to no avail. He ran into a snag at the gate: the immigration officers told him that his passport was not a valid travel document. It was too tattered around the edges, too much wear and tear. Even teary-eyed Dennis couldn't change his mind and while they tried to get emergency documents, the flight-time was rapidly approaching.

He didn't catch his flight and with a lot of begging and more teary-eyes Dennis was able to persuade the KLM lady to offer him a new flight on saturday, at an extra charge of €250,- But he said: "Ill take it" and today he finally flew to Brasil. Early this morning Joyce took him to the airport again and saw him off. Late in the evening she called him to see if he had landed safely and he was okay, waiting for his friend at the Sao Paolo Airport. He's been able to sleep some on the flight he said, which is a good thing because him and his friend are going straight to a festival by bus, just briefly stopping to drop off the luggage at his friends house.

It's odd how disconnected I feel from the events surrounding Dennis and his trip. I've not been at the house for maybe three weeks now, needing a break from the "house of hormones" as I affectionately call it. I'll be going over there on monday, but aside from maybe Eric, none of the kids is going to be there. Empty nest syndrom by proxy...

Taking a back seat

This tuesday Dennis is flying to Brazil on is well earned and long awaited first trip abroad by himself. He's worked so hard to earn the money and he has researched the place for the best places to party with his friend. He's still only 16 and it's a testiment to his maturity and level of responsibility, as well as a measure of the boundless trust Joyce has in her children that he's allowed to go at all. Dennis is the kind of kid who can get in trouble anywhere, so perhaps it really doesn't matter where he is when the sh.t hit's the fan?

He's flying on tuesday on Peru and has a nine hour layover there. He told his mom: "No way am I going to spend 9 hours on an airport, I'm going to party in Peru". Unfortunately for him, he needs permission from his mom, on paper, to do that. A permission that wasn't forthcoming, as Joyce had visions of Dennis lost in Peru. Remember, this is the same boy that took over four hours to make a two hour traintrip.

At first the plan was for me and Joyce to see him off. Make a nice day out of it, go to Amsterdam, wander around the most exciting city in Europe. However, Chris asked if he could come along to see his brother off. Just to clue you in on the background of that request: Chris and Dennis were at war with each other the first two years after the divorce. They have sorta pulled together a bit when Eric moved in, but it's been a armed stand off however and Chris volunteering to see his brother off is a step towards a more relaxed sense of comradship that Joyce is trying to instill in the boys. A long and arduous process...

Well, me and Chris don't get along very well so when Chris found out I'd be coming he told his mother: "Never mind, I'm not going". Now, I would love to spend a day in Amsterdam with the woman I love, who wouldn't? But this was a family thing, important for both the boys. I may be their stepparent (allthough they would vehemently oppose the very thought) but they are brothers. They need each other, brothers are special, like a companion that stays with you throughout your life.

I withdrew myself for the day in Amsterdam. Their brotherly love needs all the nourishment it can get and me and Joyce can go to Amsterdam another time. I hope they have a nice time, I'll see Joyce the day after that so she can stress out about whether Dennis has made his connection in Peru, and I get to hold her and tell her that the boy is fine wherever he is and wouldn't call even when he was in the country so what makes her think he's going to remember to call her now? It'll be great fun!

(the picture is painted by Frans Koppelaar)

Graduation day

My second eldest stepson Eric graduated highschool! The first of the family, his older brother having skipped the exams to go live in Ibiza. It is a proud moment in a mom's life when her son finishes highschool with a diploma. Even if you're not into school...

Joyce is strongly opposed to the methods used in highschool. She sais: They teach our young ones to reproduce what has been thought before, instead of learning to think for themselves." She's made a vailiant effort to fill in the gaps, to stimulate them in the pursuit of their own dreams, think their own thoughts, do their own thing. In addition she made sure that the kids knew success in school meant little or nothing to her, but necessary for getting ahead in the world. A diploma is what her children go to school for, an education they pursue in a multitude of other ways.

However, the day your son graduates is not the right kind of day for speaking about the relativity of the diploma and the pursuit of an education. It's a day to celebrate his achievement. So we had a party for him, we watched him receive the result of his many years of highschool education. A list with mostly A's and B's, one single C and a diploma that allows him to pursue his chosen career: Musician.

Before enrolling into Rock and Roll College though, he's going on a well earned trip around the world. Take some time off and move out on his own. He's certainly earned the reprieve. Right now he's in the backyard, ritually burning everything having to do with school, while shouting: "Free at last, free at last, thank God allmighty, free at last!"