Being able to get away, go to my own little apartment, when I need some peace and quiet is a vital ingredient of my love for my stepchildren. However, there are times when I'm over in my own apartment that I wish I could be there, if only for a few minutes.
Yesterday Eric graduated highschool. He's an intelligent young man who didn't have to work all that hard to make the grade. At the time of the divorce though, Eric chose to live with his father. Part pity, part keen self interest, he figured he could remain in both parent's good graces by living with his father. He was not mistaken in assuming that if he moved with his mom he wouldn't see hide nor hair of his father for a long time. In retrospect I think he would have prefered it that way... we all make mistakes.
His father expects his teenage son to be home by eleven, even on the weekends, do most of the housework and well, be as obedient as a 10 year old. The attraction of living there did not lie in the times when his father was at home. The real reason living there was fun lay in the frequent trips abroad his father did. At fifteen he took a holiday from school every time his father left town. His house was party central in those days, his father none the wiser and his mom not in the know. His father had left explicit instructions that in no way should his mom find out that he was home alone. The only time he ever let her know was when he had a concussion and didn't know what to do about it. As a result he missed most of his third and fourth year of highschool and come the time to be promoted to the senior year he failed miserably. His mentor from school had been given explicit instructions that all contact about his grades be with his mother, not his father, but somehow this was overlooked and his father was informed.
With bruises on his soul he came to his mom's house that night fuming about the way his father had ripped him apart. It's hard to see a seventeen year old struggle to contain his tears, his fury and his utter despair. Eric tried to live at his father's house for three more months after that, but in reality he was allready living at his mom's, making sketchy appearances at his father's in hopes that his father would make good on his promise to pay for his drivers licence. Proud moments
And today, thanks to a loving mother for support and guidance and superb effort on his part, essentially doing two years of highschool at once, Eric got his highschool diploma. This is one of those times when I wish I was there to celebrate it with them. He's got great plans to travel the world, become a food vendor at all kinds of festivals. He's a young man at the threshold of all life has to offer. I'm such a proud stepmommy.
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